WHEN MY FRIEND SWINGS BY WITHOUT TELLING ME, 

AND MY APARTMENT IS A MESS. 

Via #whatshouldwecallme.

This is not my life anymore, because I kept my house clean for an entire month for the first time in my entire life and I'm never looking back. Come on over, all you previously-ignored unannounced visitors! I'll never pretend my doorbell is broken again.

Spring cleaning: my closet.

I've been holding on to a lot of clothes for a lot of years. Most of the items in this bag have been moved from Las Vegas to Ukrainian Village to Logan Square. I couldn't bring myself to get rid of everything—some things I'm afraid I'll always wish hadn't gone to charity (sorry, charity!), so I put them in bins and they go to live in our basement storage unit.  

I used to take up three of the four closets in our apartment, and I'm now down to one. Using the question 'Would I rather have something cuter?', I successfully purged: two bins of nostalgic save-ables, two garbage bags of shoes (I'm down to just 21 pairs!), and three shopping bags of sell-ables.

I took the shoes to the nearest clothing donation dumpster-thing and then endured horrible feelings of judgement and rejection at Buffalo Exchange and turned those bags of impulse-buys and one-time-wears into this:

...which I hope to turn into something nice I will wear all summer. Like maybe a haircut?

Spring cleaning: my body.

I convinced Paul to do a twenty-eight day cleanse with me by promising not to smoke for the entire month. Strangely, three days in I am missing coffee one million times more than cigarettes.

Last night we made Grilled Napa Cabbage with Chinese Mustard Glaze and Scallions for dinner. So good, but sooo spicy! I am notoriously stringent with my recipe-following, so it was not confident improvisation that lead to my usage of ramps instead of scallions—it was my inability to correctly identify most produce.

The surprisingly hearty cabbage was accompanied by Crispy Roasted Cauliflower. I've always been in awe of the deliciousness that was the roasted cauliflower dish on Longman & Eagle's dinner menu, but after roasting my own I realized that it's not very hard to make this vegetable taste amazing.

In the process of researching recipes for the detox, I accidentally started using an app called ZipList. Seriously, everyone should download this thing immediately. You can create a virtual recipe box, create a meal plan, and organize a grocery shopping list. I stuck to the list and spent so much less money at Whole Foods than I ever have before—plus now when I open the fridge I don't just stand there and stare blankly at its contents wondering why the fuck I bought beets. Now I know! I bought them for this salad! And we're eating it on Friday for lunch.


Also, I should probably ask MCC if he minds that I'm borrowing this mantra:

Guest blogger!

As promised, here is Ally's 30 Before 30 list! And yes, Ally, this is what blogging always feels like ("weird and embarrassing"). 

Well holy shit, after a night of truly mortifying karaoke and a meat-filled meal at Nightwood, here I am: 29 years old. Though I'm not totally spooked about turning 30, there are about 100 things I feel like I should accomplish before I start saying things like, 'at this age…' or 'when you're in your 30s…' .So alas, I'm joining the ranks of Molly, Dean, and my truest bluest gurl Shelby with my 30 before 30 list. 

1/ Find teachers. This is the equivalent of finding religion for new age chumps like me. I want to read books and attend lectures by people who are more compassionate, joyful, and whole-er than I am. And I would like to integrate that knowledge into my life without dropping quotes at parties and losing all of my friends. 

2/ Run a half marathon. I have run FOR YEARS, but it has never become a habit, and it has certainly never gone beyond 4 miles. This is my year. 

3/ Get strong. I want to be able to do push ups and maybe, MAYBE, a pull up. 

4/ Develop a mindfulness practice. 

5/ Learn technology. The key here would be to not rely on my boyfriend to help me scan a document, every time I need to scan a document. Same is true for designing a flyer, backing up my computer, installing updates, etc. 

6/ Start a private practice & increase my clinical skills. I would like to take on 4-5 therapy clients, and then do really good work with them. 

7/ Go to Buenos Aires. Drink wine, walk around, hold hands with Zach. 

8/ Go to Palm Springs OR Big Sur. I spend a lot of time in California. Time for an adventure. 

9/ Take a girls' vacation. Preferably somewhere with a beach AND a pool. 

10/ Buy 3-4 NICE things that I'll have forever. Staple pieces. Not from Zara. 

11/ Start a 401K. I already did this, but listing it is helping me feel accomplished/motivated. 

12/ Visit a financial planner. Something tells me that completing #12 isn't going to help me with #10, but it still needs to happen. 

13/ Get a raise/promotion. I work HARD, and I don't have the title or salary to prove it. 

14/ Kick my soda habit. No more Diet Cokes. 

15/ Can this one be private? I think this one is private. 

16/ Learn to mix. At least a little. 

17/ Take more pictures. Like with a camera. 

18/ Redo bathroom. Oops, I did this one already too. Just 28 left girl!

19/ Redecorate bedroom. 

20/ Cook more/ have 3-4 signature dishes. 'Ohhh Ally is coming over? I hope she brings her __________." 

21/ Have more dinner parties. 

22/ Learn to make pizza from scratch. I'm scared of any recipe that calls for yeast. But I am more scared of my Papa John's addiction. 

23/ Train Milkshake to be the best dog ever (not just the handsomest).  

24/ Give gifts to friends and family. Send cards on people's birthdays. Show more love.

25/ Try new restaurants with my man. 

26/ Do a 21-day cleanse. 

27/ Read. More. Books. Maybe 2-3/month. 

28/ Donate more time & money to places like: NPR, Chicago Public Libraries, Chicago Dyke March, Rape Victim Advocates, Greyhounds Only

29/ Grow a big vegetable garden. And then eat from it. 

30/ Keep a cleaner home. Less dishes in the sink. Less clothes on the floor. Less closets filled to the brim. 

Watercolors by Mark Aguhar.

Feeling really sad for my friends who lost their friend, for the world, and for every dance floor from now on.

Ursher.

Oh my god, I cannot stop listening to this song. CAN. NOT. And then the VIDEO??? I dare you to watch it without clenching your fists the entire time. It kind of makes me want to cry hysterically/do standing abdominal-isolation exercises, but mostly it gets me really, REALLY excited for the rest of this album.

P.S. Usher: yes. Yes, please.
UPDATE: The director, Sam Pilling, also takes lots of photographs of adorable kittens. No wonder.

Marni Sleepover!

Molly and I are gonna sleep on a sidewalk in the rain and have a long conversation about 'WANT VS. NEED'.

Here is my shopping list:

Real Real Talk

Stay tuned for Ally's guest-blog-column on this topic, plus why your therapist shouldn't go to parties with you (à la Real Housewives of Beverly Hills), and her 30 Before 30 list.

#Trendsetting

Tiger Eyes:


Also known as Bebop Eyes:


Via WhoWhatWear. @Morganagrom.

RPM!

Paul created the cocktail menu for a fancy new restaurant as part of his fancy new job, and I got to go to the fancy preview party.